Spending the weekend with my 4-year-old grandson. “What should I write my post about this week?” I asked. “Chrysalis. Butterfly. Transformation,” he said. What words, what concepts from the mouths of babes. I spoke with two caregivers this week about the transformation in their lives when their family member received a sobering diagnosis. What did the diagnosis mean? Who would be the caregiver? How would it affect the rest of the family? What does quality of life mean? One caregiver took the role consciously, another found themselves to be caregiver without deliberation. One kept working, the other stopped. One had a family meeting, the other assumed the role with little discussion. One had backup and support, the other didn’t. One person with a diagnosis was completely engaged, the other in denial and depressed. Whatever the situation it’s a transformation for the caregiver. Life is out of whack, out of balance. I continue to hear about the aloneness of caregivers feeling powerless and directionless. The transformation to butterfly is wonderful and awesome, to caregiver unsettling and awesome. Support the caregivers, help the helpers.
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