I’m ready to quit playing my horn. I can’t seem to bring what I’ve learned while playing at home (practicing) to rehearsals. I’m lost. I have fat fingers. I can’t find a 2 or 4 measure rhythmic pattern that works. I lose my place. I can’t seem to learn the language. I definitely I don’t have the muscle memory yet. It’s disheartening. I’m used to being good at what I do. I was a great bedside nurse. I was a really good boss. I’m a prolific and engaging writer. I’m sought after for my patient/caregiver activism. Music, not so much. I’m persistent, not talented. I’m humbled, playing music. Part of the secret sauce to managing my Multiple Sclerosis, is that I keep manageable stress to a minimum. Being a boss and employee was too stressful, so I stopped. I don’t have secrets. My close relationships are fresh and up-to-date. I adapt well to my slow reduction in function. Playing is stressing me out. Wait, I haven’t had a sax lesson in months. My teacher is very good. Positive and creative with my fluctuating abilities. Tells me to play less. I didn’t stay at the top of my game in my 40+ year career without coaching and mentoring. It wasn’t possible. I play for a reason. It’s one of two outcomes I track with my doctors (falling and playing the saxophone).
I’m not quitting. Thanks for listening.
I’m attending an Entrepreneur’s Think Tank at the local Career Center and the Tech Sandbox in MA’s MetroWest region. I helped start something in 2012 called Pain Points in Healthcare Mini Unconference, now Healthcare Innovators. Each of these groups assembles people with bright ideas trying to set up a viable business. Often people with more passion than practical knowledge seeking to fill in their gaps. I am 63 years old, seasoned with energy, ideas, connections and yes – gaps. I’m older, good at what I do, and still in need of mentors and coaches. How else will I stay good at what I do? Searching for, finding, and offering mentoring is serious fun. Read More