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Four of 6.4 million men caregivers muse on their varied experience, emotions, challenges, joys. We did it because we wanted to and we could. Great stories!
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Episode Summary
In 1968 the IRS ruled that Charles E. Moritz (Charles E Moritz vs Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service) was not entitled to a deduction for expenses for the care of his dependent invalid mother. The IRS ruled the deduction was unavailable because he was a single man who was never married, the deduction being limited to a woman, a widower or divorce, or a husband whose wife is incapacitated or institutionalized. Ruth Bader Ginsberg took this case to the Supreme Court and won. We’ve come a long way buddies.
Denise Brown of caregiving.com invited four men to participate in a panel at the 2018 National Caregiving Conference in Chicago about men as family caregivers. We were Ben Carter, Patrick Egan. Jolyon Hallows, and yours truly. Our personal experiences of caregiving differed widely. Yet we were all caregivers because we wanted to, we could, and we did. None of us thought of ourselves as caregivers until after we were caregivers or well after we started.
We are 4 of the 6.4 million family caregivers who are men. Although our caregiving experiences vary considerably you can’t generalize about men in caregiving from us. What you can hear is that we found ourselves in caregiving before we knew what caregiving was. We did it because we could and we wanted to. We had many emotions and stresses, and we needed and got help. We were not alone. We are proud that we have been caregivers. We all four are trying to give back to the caregiving community. You will find some resources in the show notes: links to my resource center and other resources. Starting with this episode I will include a link to a full transcript that can be read by the deaf or those who’d rather read than listen. Stay tuned for part 2 of this two-part series on Men Caregivers.
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Contents
Episode Notes
Full transcript
- 00:00 Episode Intro
- 00:39 Podcast Intro
- 01:23 2018 National Caregiving Conference
- 02:17 Ben Carter: First time discovering health was fragile
- 03:55 How was it for your son?
- 04:26 What is the relationship between life coach and caregiver?
- 07:33 What does your son think of your career shift?
- 09:01 How does it feel to be a man in caregiving?
- 11:47 Patrick Egan: First time discovering health was fragile
- 12:51 What is the fun in technology for patients and caregivers?
- 15:44 Buying my mom a cell phone
- 16:56 How did training leaders affect your caregiving?
- 19:08 Family roles in caregiving
- 27:06 Jalyon Hallows: Discovering the first time health was fragile
- 28:33 Dealing with negative emotions
- 30:14 Impact of information technology and project management on caregiving
- 32:39 If you could recommend one electronic tool what would it be?
- 34:08 How did IT and project management inform caregiving?
- 36:02 How was your family involved?
- 37:36 Caregiver support group
- 39:09 How did you get respite?
- 41:27 Lay people talking with experts and entrepreneurs
- 47:10 Solving caregivers’ problems
- 49:32 Conference calls, the family dinner table
Blogs, articles, resources on my website about caregiving
Jolyon Hallows’ book: A Parkinson’s Life: And a Caregiver’s Roadmap
Ben Carter Coaching Experience
About the Show
Welcome to Health Hats, empowering people as they travel together toward best health. I am Danny van Leeuwen and I have worn many hats in my 40+ years in healthcare as a patient, caregiver, nurse, informaticist, and leader. Everyone wears many hats, but I wear them all at once. We will listen and learn about what it takes to adjust to life’s realities in healthcare’s Tower of Babel. Let’s make some sense of all this.
My guests and I reflect on what works for people, professionals, and communities in their journeys toward best health: learning, making choices, communicating, and adjusting to realities. We can range from personal, clinical, technical, entrepreneurial, organizational, to whatever interests me at the moment. Join the ride!
Readers of Health Hats, the Blog, we will publish a Podcast in two of each month’s weekly posts. To subscribe go to the blog https://health-hats.com/
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