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Pillow, pills, poop, piss, and pain

By January 13, 2019February 27th, 2019Caregiver, Family man, Podcasts
  • Blood, sweat, tears shared by two.
  • Helping one end and another begin.
  • A disaster that ultimately gives back.
  • Hearts clubbed by diamonds in spades.
  • We learned, we cried, we continued.

Episode Summary

Denise Brown of asked caregivers for their 6-word story about caregiving. Brilliant!

Welcome to Men Caregivers, Part 2, the Panel.  Part 1 was interviews with the panel, Ben Carter, Patrick Egan, Jolyon Hallows, and yours truly. All at the National Caregiving Conference in Chicago in November 2018.

Here are some of our 6-word stories:

  • We did it because we could
  • Pillows, pills, poop, piss, and pain
  • 20 years a caregiver. I adapted.
  • Key word isn’t ‘men’, it’s ‘caregiving’
  • Personal care? It depends? Mother, wife?
  • Managing the Dis Ease of Disease

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Full Transcript

Pillow, pills, poop, piss, and pain

Episode Intro

00:46 Podcast Intro


02:09 We did it because we could

Jolyon Hallows

Ben Carter

04:21 90-day caregiving experience with Mommy

Health Hats

06:46 Pillows, pills, poop, piss, and pain

Patrick Egan

10:47 Caregiving stronger with a diverse community

Jolyon Hallows

13:48 20-years a caregiver. I adapted.

Patrick Egan

16:40 Statistics about Men Caregivers: The numbers

Ben Carter

18:47 Welcome the new VP of Caregiving

Health Hats

22:05 My advice: Take care of yourselves

Patrick Egan


24:09 Male panel? Or highlight other diversities?

Patrick Egan

25:08 Key word isn’t ‘men’, it’s ‘caregiving’

Jolyon Hallows

27:10 Not so many men here. Why?

Ben Carter

28:29 We didn’t know we were caregivers

30:27 We learned, we cried, we continued


33:41 Personal care? It depends? Mother, wife?

Ben Carter

35:06 Managing the Dis Ease of disease

36:30 Mindfulness. Be in the moment. Deeper.

Jolyon Hallows

40:06 Problem solver can’t solve them all

Patrick Egan


41:40 Backlash against men in nurturing roles

Health Hats

Patrick Egan

44:18 Competing? Caregiver conference run by men


45:13 Brothers not caring for mom’s hygiene

Jolyon Hallows

46:46 Difference between wife and mom as caree

Health Hats

47:41 Different abilities. Different willingness. Gender-related?

Ben Carter

48:35 What grandmother wouldn’t let me see

50:30 Mommy don’t die. Can’t face it.

Wrap up

51:44 Healing, therapeutic session. Wrap it up

Podcast Outro


52:41 Support my blog and podcast

 Episode Notes


Blogs, articles, resources on  my website about caregiving

Jolyon Hallows’ book: A Parkinson’s Life: And a Caregiver’s Roadmap

Ben Carter Coaching Experience

Patrick Egan, Tech That Cares

Jolyon Hallows website

Woke Daddy

Family Caregiver Alliance: Caregiver Statistics

About the Show

Welcome to Health Hats, empowering people as they travel together toward best health. I am Danny van Leeuwen and I have worn many hats in my 40+ years in healthcare as a patient, caregiver, nurse, informaticist, and leader. Everyone wears many hats, but I wear them all at once.  We will listen and learn about what it takes to adjust to life’s realities in healthcare’s Tower of Babel.  Let’s make some sense of all this.

My guests and I reflect on what works for people, professionals, and communities in their journeys toward best health: learning, making choices, communicating, and adjusting to realities. We can range from personal, clinical, technical, entrepreneurial, organizational, to whatever interests me at the moment. Join the ride!

Readers of Health Hats, the Blog, we will publish a Podcast in at least two of each month’s weekly posts. To subscribe go to the blog

Creative Commons Licensing

The material found on this website created by me is Open Source and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution. Anyone may use the material (written, audio, or video) freely at no charge.  Please cite the source as: ‘From Danny van Leeuwen, Health Hats. (including the link to my website). I welcome edits and improvements.  Please let me know. Material on this site created by others is theirs and use follows their guidelines.


Danny van Leeuwen

Patient/Caregiver activist: learn on the journey toward best health